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Waiting For DeathWaiting on a wooden bridge
Standing under the moon
You said you would meet me
And you better be here soon
The rain is falling softly
But it won't disguise my tears
I need you to take me away
Please make it quick, my dear
Cover me in your black cloak
And lay me down to sleep
I'll lose my thoughts and torment
But my restless soul I'll keep
Kiss my lips softly
Until I become cold and pale
Just awaken me sweetly
From this place that I call hell
Now I see you approaching
A dark figure out of the mist
Your scythe sits on your shoulder
It's a sight I can't resist
As you walk ever closer
I see your distorted face
I'm screaming inside with agony
While I crave your dark embrace
Suddenly you're next to me
And then I feel the pain
My red blood surrounds us
After you pull out the blade
This isn't like I thought it would be
It's all come out so wrong
I dreamt up an illusion
Some imaginary song
Then I close my eyes
And fall into the burning fire
Yet, for some reason
You still fill me with desire
RuinsYour sadness is true
Tears have been ignored
No one to help you
No way to restore
Your innocence was taken
Crawling all alone
Your life stands in ruins
No way to go home
Your heart is broken
Nowhere to run
The threads loosen
The damage is done
Hoping for death
The only salvation
Losing your last breath
You're coming undone
No way to escape
You only stay lost
No more faith
Only dark chaos
No one will save you
They're too selfish
Your sanity you will lose
With a cut to your wrist
The silence is too loud
No one that cares
When they turn around
You won't be there
Comfort In DestructionMy blackened heart
Withers in the light
Ashes pile in destruction
Yet, I might survive
I explode with pain
The fire heats my breath
Loneliness takes hold
My body fills with death
I sometimes feel at home
In this dangerous land
Can't ever explain it
Just know that I am
The shadow has covered
Every aspect of my soul
The acid washed me away
Then somehow made me whole
I'm walking in misery
Wanting to stay here
But losing my sanity
Is my greatest fear
RejectionDon't try to hide
From what you can't ignore
If you close your eyes
You better be sure
It's not worth your time
Unless you find a cure
Just try to look inside
Take your final tour
Walk down the halls
Remember what you see
You say you got it all
But you're without me
Rejection against your wall
I only feel the sting
On the floor I crawl
As you walk out and leave
MadnessBe quiet as you wonder
Into the darkness of my mind
Don't wake up the danger
And don't expect the divine
Once you see the madness
You will want to return home
Then you will understand
Why I'm always in shadow
Burning roses hold my thoughts
And I can't control the fire
Do you know what it's like,
To not feel any desire?
Demons clawing at my face
Trying to make me become
Something I don't want to be
But it has already begun
Death is my silent lullaby
Moonlight fills my sanctuary
Watch out for the edge
Of all my haunted memories
In the once colorful meadows
Now stand withering plants
Black from the despair
Ruined by my human hands
Yes, I have many regrets
I don't expect to be saved
Know I'll be here forever
Frozen in Hell's black rain
My Falling KingdomI still see your face in the back of my mind
I lie in the blankets with tears in my eyes
It's killing us to part after so much time
But no one can change where the truth now lies
I get off the bed and look in the mirror
I'm wondering how we wound up here
Everything has happened that I used to fear
My heart is bleeding and my thoughts won't clear
The waves are crashing all around
Threatening to take the castle walls down
With my entire kingdom I will drown
What good is a princess without her crown?
I still feel your touch and the taste of your lips
Our love played out with a burning script
I'm dying inside as my fantasy slips...
Now I'm walking down to my frozen crypt
Fallen StarIf I finally open my eyes,
Will they see the beauty inside?
Can they know a fallen star,
In the darkest hour of the night?
I always hide in shadow
So they can't even see my face
But if I come out into the light
Will they help me reach my fate?
I want to take my place forever
In the kingdom in the sky
Will they really let me get there,
So I no longer want to die?
UndiscoveredThere's so many wonders
That we have not yet found
Whether deep inside the ocean
Or high above the ground
Maybe floating kingdoms
A master's evil land
We can't even imagine
The beauty that is at hand
What if there are monsters
Or Horses with golden wings?
How can we claim them fake
Without even trying to see?
Maybe shapeshifters change
Like a witch casts her spell
Some may be close to heaven
While others belong in hell
Maybe there's hidden valley's
Withholding ancient life
Where dinosaurs rule the land
And humans try to survive
If dragons hide in caves
And mermaids swim so deep
What if angels watch over us
To make sure we don't leap?
Maybe covered in glaciers
Atlantis is living on
With everything undiscovered
Who's to say I'm wrong?
A Warrior's DestinyI look to the sky as if someone will help
But the storm is still raging on
A fallen rose signals the disaster
Yet, my sword has not been drawn
My gaze slides to the battle below me
And I know that I must go
My people need me severely
As the death toll continues to grow
I jump down to the encompassing battle
Then I draw my blade of death
Carnage is all around me
The cold quickly heats my breath
The first taker comes towards me
I cut him down so fast
They continue to attack me
But my skills are too advanced
I've trained my whole life for this
They I know I won't back down
We will not lose our freedom
I'm fighting for the crown
Grounded planesAs I stand here, feeling the weight of my hair increase and slump on my shoulders with water leaking down the curve of my back, I think of you, kneeling in the bedroom, forehead on the dirty carpet of lies, betrayal and doubt. Power lines and coral reefs separate us, a torturous wait for something that we hope alleviates us.
As I put on the headphones and make my choice against the voices of the world, I remember your crying, your painful sobs of apologies and promises I still believe you will one day fulfill. I clutch at my chest and wish that I could take a heartbeat and send it your way. Maybe you'll hear me...maybe I'll feel you. Ripped envelopes, healing scars and passionate thoughts connect us, a desire we will one day share.
Tonight I dance with streetlights in fine rain and I smile. Tonight, you stare out at misty roads and mountains with glass alone keeping you locked in.
Tomorrow I sing to ink cartridges and faded paper. You'll hold pillows and shuddered breaths that feel l
Divorce lawyers are yoursI am getting used to lying on rooftops that look like ripples, counting tears from clouds that hide behind a night mask of their own. I used to count them, remember every drop between my fingers but now they splatter like alcohol, drowsy medication and lies. I slide pieces of love notes and unsent letters under the plastic on the dining table, hoping one day you'll sit there and notice it under your routine glass of Jack Daniels.
Every morning I wake up to dirty teacups and half eaten pancakes, empty hammocks and closed doors. When will you be home again? When will you actually look at me rather than the stain my shadow makes on your bathroom door. And think of the fact that we can't even stand back to bare back anymore. Think of how our fingers can't stay intertwined for more than a few seconds. And then ask yourself why I beg for the same things every minute you aren't engrossed in the next lie you'll spit on my face.
I'm accustomed to sitting on dirt and weeds, kissing stigmas and b
Looking backThese are the times when I want you here;
-to remind me of all the wrong words hanging from the roof of my mouth
-to hold me around the waist and squeeze until I stop choking on the mistakes
-to kiss me and say that's what insanity is supposed to feel like; beautiful.
-to show me that the world is still spinning slow enough for me to take a breath of life.
-to tell me I'm the one thing you don't regret.
A letter for a stareDear guy at table 3,
We ordered the same latte chillers two days ago, yesterday and today as I'm writing this. I can't stop looking at you, with your purple headphones peeking out from your pin straight, bronze hair. Your stares intrigue me because I wonder, are you challenging me? Bad choice because evidently, I will stare back even after you look away. I like the way you scribble your words across the napkins you sneak under your cup from the baskets and stick them into your pocket before anyone [but me] sees.
I wonder, do you keep them? What are you writing that's so different? 'Walk with paper maybe next time' they'd say but I think its interesting.
I'm still looking at you by the way. You're probably thinking I'm a weird girl who thinks you're cute or something. Truth be told, your eyes are pulling me in. For the past two days they looked different. I find myself smiling when you're singing along to your music and thinking no one can hear you.
Well, this napkin is getting full so
Empty flower potsIt's like we're tossing rocks to count ripples, plucking petals to collect pollen and burning paper hearts to make starry flames. It's like I'm provoking your anger just to hear your voice in frustration, covering my lips so you don't hear the way I seem to liquidize even in the cold. It's a lot like love, darling, but we're fools, we're far fetched and we're ridiculous and I never wanna hear you say you love me.
Because you don't know, and I don't know and no one knows!! No one knows that you spend days looking at my picture, playing with your hair, tangling your fingers until there are knots and you laugh at the way you pull,pull,pull and can't get me out of your head.
No one knows that I stand in the rain, laughing, collecting droplets on my tongue, whispering your name and watching it write itself on my window. No one knows that sometimes I say "I'm beautiful" and they'll never hear "because of you". Everything goes from complex to simple, hot to cool, chaotic to clear b
tell me a lie and i'll still love you.fingertips lace around ribs
and dance along fragile arms
enough to be felt but not to break.
every touch is a gentle lie that says i love you.
sinking through layers of skin, muscle
and striking the bone with a cold pleasure
that clasps around your heart.
heart beats ebb, along with movement and time.
breaking away isn't an option,
maybe it never was... maybe it never will be.
take control of trembling hands,
hold them tight and hold them still.
send those tremors internally bound,
and turn them into butterflies.
then fight against the abdominal pull.
fight against flying away.
and falling apart.
BacktracksI had a plan to love
until my heartbeats trembled
under the duress of your voice
and the shock from your fingers.
I had a plan to love
until it became a perpetual ache
against the air in my chest.
I had a plan to love
and I didn't stop in time.
EffigyI guess you'll never know quite why my vision fogs
When you leave me in the mist of your prescence;
Reaching for your fairytale-fingertips
And make believe morning kisses because, not like,
because they're the only bit of warmth I get after my sweaters left me.
You'll never know why I stare at your pictures
So much so that my mind has been chisled into an effigy of you;
Each curve melding gently into the next
Until your shilouette acquires the likeness of a well
Filled with quarters to the point that there's no room to wish
And the water runs through rusted pipes
Out leaky faucets located near the corners of my eyes.
But... if it's one thing I do right for the rest of my life...
I'll make damned sure that you know I love you.
we don't sound like a whisper.The sun never sets over the water, but you still take me there whenever dusk comes to meet the horizon. We sit out on the rocks with me tucked tight against your chest, while you count stars like other people count blessings, but we're only half lucky with all these city lights ruining your chances. I know you're tired, love, but I'm terrified. I'm running out of ways to stop myself from telling you I miss you because twenty four hours isn't a long time to be separated and I'm really just more afraid of what you're doing when I'm not there -- and of what you're thinking when I am. I've been burnt enough times before to learn that loving with only half your heart will save you from the fire, but I know that's not what I'm doing here. I don't want you to be a mistake worth making. I want this to be real this time.
I keep playing out all the ways you could hurt me in my head, not because I think you will, but because it'll sting less if it actually happens. I've learned to prepare myself
IllusionsI witness the rain coming down
But it doesn't caress my face
I no longer feel your arms
As I'm wrapped in your embrace
I know the path is ahead of me
My feet don't touch the ground
I can't dance to the music
Because I don't hear any sound
I want to take flight without wings
Hear you call but it's not my name
I want to play this thing called life
But I don't understand the game
I know the sun is rising in the sky
My world is becoming black
I know you are trying to help
I merely experience you attack
I perceive the follower's gaze
But no one's watching me
I assume the abandoned kiss
Yet you hold me fearfully
All of my productive thoughts ricochet
I feel pain like the end in near
Why do I aquire these illusions,
When I have nothing to fear?
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Endorell-Taelos is very well known within the community for her selfless giving and gracious community spirit. Since joining DeviantART over seven years ago, Alicia has continued to make a positive impact on many deviants. Her helpful and thoughtful approach was one of her finest attributes when serving as a Community Volunteer, and this has continued throughout the many contests which Alicia provides on a regular basis. As we approach our Birthday celebrations, we can't... Read More